The Inner Confidence Forums

RAPID ESCALATION

Keychain — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:56:53 GMT

Every interaction is different. As I think back over the women Ive been with, I see pattern and variation. On occasions Ive met a woman during the day or at a bar, taken her number, met for a date and then slept with her. Other women took a little longer, perhaps we slept together on the second date. Other women took longer still. Ive slept with women from my social circle after having them on what they call a slow burn for some months. None of these results is better or worse than the others, theyre just different.

There are other occasions when Ive met a woman and slept with her that very same day. I was able to achieve these fast results because of my ability to escalate rapidly. This ability consists of:

Being open to the idea that rapid escalation is possible

Being able to recognise when a woman is open to rapid escalation (an ability to read her momentum)

Having the skill and confidence (outer and inner game) necessary to actually escalate quickly

Having the right logistics to lead the woman to a seduction location

Ive noticed two main sticking points that tend to people back: approach anxiety (fear of starting a conversation with a stranger, particularly an attractive woman) and escalation anxiety (fear of moving the interaction forwards or sexualizing the interaction). It was endeavoring to tackle the latter with my students that motivated me to systemize much of this material.

Please note, this is a fairly advanced idea that does require a basic level of social and sexual savvy. You should have the ability to carry out an engaging, pleasant conversation with someone without social ticks and excessive nervousness, and you should be meeting and attracting women fairly successfully without wrestling with crippling self-image problems or running out of things to say. If you cant do these things, I recommend closing the proverbial pages of this article and taking care of the first things first. They are most learnable.

The Overview

Rapid escalation game is a momentum-based approach. A womans momentum dictates how fast you can escalate.

A womans momentum is how willing she is to follow your lead. Psychologists might call this compliance. It takes low momentum for her to shake your hand, but higher momentum for her to sleep with you. Momentum can increase or decrease as the interaction unfolds.

As you approach women, you will find various levels of momentum. Some women will allow you to escalate smoothly and quickly to a kiss or pull (taking her home) without showing any social resistance at all, while others may refuse to even talk to you when you approach! It is very helpful to be able to read a womans momentum so that you can tailor your escalation to each situation. If there is a lot of momentum in your interaction, you can escalate very quickly. Less momentum will require a more gradual, paced escalation.

Rapid escalation is merely a combination of your desire/ability to escalate and your ability to read the womans level of momentum. When you truly get to the level of intuitively sensing how fast you can escalate with each individual woman, you will naturally be reading a combination of physical momentum and a variety of other signals of her interest in you.

I dont specifically test for momentum as a distinct act. Every act of leading is a compliance test, so the best way to gauge momentum is just to escalate and pay attention. As you do, take note of how easily she follows your lead. Think of momentum testing like a speedometer on a car it is not something you turn on and off, it constantly reacts to the cars speed and displays its measurement. As you get more and more experience, youll eventually get a feel for the speed of your interaction.

Feeling Momentum

You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.

-Mahatma Gandhi

When you first taste wine it just tastes like wine, you either like it or you dont. As you become more experienced and educated about wine, you begin to make finer and finer distinctions with the information your senses are sending to you. You begin to detect the nuances of the flavor and how one wine differs from the next.

Learning by experience is about interpreting the information in your environment with finer and finer distinctions. As you become more experienced and educated, you begin to interpret each interaction better. Patterns and right-action arise from the wash of confusion and guesswork.

If I was to summarize the escalation learning process in one sentence it would be this: If you havent already, have a go at escalating really hard and fast and see what happens. Try this, you may blow a few sets but the finer distinctions are worth it. Heres why:

When most guys do the above, they are very often surprised at how much momentum they find

Most guys then realize that they dont escalate as much as they could. Ask yourself, when was the last time you were blown out from over-escalating (has that ever happened)?

For one reason or another, most guys dont ever escalate to the point of blow-out and so never reach the limit of a womans momentum. They never really learn to feel where it is.

If you dont learn to feel the limit of a womans momentum, you cant reliably gauge where shes at.

If you cant gauge her momentum, you cant escalate based on it.

Therefore, your escalations very often fall short. They are based on what you think you can/should do rather than on an understanding of what you actually can do

Some How-To

Here are practical tips on how to escalate that will serve you well in-field.

Lead strongly from outset.

The purpose here is to establish a lead-follow pattern and to get a feel for the womans current momentum. For example, my friend Sasha and I were on the street doing some daytime approaches. Sasha was talking to two women, I joined him. He introduced me and made it clear which was the one he wanted. As I shook the hand of the other woman, I just held onto her hand and drew her gently towards me, immediately taking the lead. I pulled her in close, spun her and draped her arms around my neck. We were face-to-face at this point, and she didnt flinch away. Based on this, I tried for the kiss but couldnt connect. At this point, I had hit the ceiling of her momentum, so we talked some more (still embracing), baby-stepped some more physical leading and tried again. Still no go. On the third attempt, her friend looked over from Sashas arms and shouted, Just kiss him, hes hot! That social permission was just what she needed, and we kissed.

Ladder the acts of leading.

If you go for an act of leading, dont worry if she does not follow. Just baby-step smaller, more palatable requests until she warms to your original intention. While doing daytime approaches in Oslo, I approached a stunning blond woman with a direct opener. She stopped, I transitioned off the opener by asking if she was Norwegian, she said yes. I hugged her (immediately establishing touch) and said, Awesome, I love Norwegians! As I continued talking, I moved to a bench nearby, Come sit (immediate leading) This was a fairly bold act of leadership considering the brevity of our interaction. She walked towards me but did not sit. Unphased, I simply baby-stepped the momentum with Give me your handsturn them overhmm, okaycome sit And she sat. The physical leading in itself didnt make a lot of sense and I didnt bother explaining why I wanted to see her hands. I was just laddering stages to get the momentum for her to sit with me.

Escalate on an emotional spike.

Another way to gain ground quickly during rapid escalation is to physically escalate on an emotional spike. For instance, if you want to move your woman to another location on the street and she doesnt feel comfortable doing so, wait a while. Make her laugh and, as she feels that good emotion, take her hand and lead her, Come on, lets go to the bar. When you hit a womans momentum threshold, you can withdraw some of the physical touching (a takeaway) so that she misses the connection you already have. Then when your emotional spike hits and you reinitiate escalation, it will be even better received.

Dominant / Physical

Anyone who has been having sex with a woman and, in the throws of passion, has pinned their womans arms above her head for sexy effect will know that many women respond well to physical dominance. You can use this principle outside of the bedroom too.

Examples of physical dominance include taking a woman by the hips and pulling her close, physically lifting her up, catching a womans arm as she passes to stop her in a crowded club.

Teaching in London, I was talking to a woman with one of our clients. Some way into the conversation, she asked me to guess her age. She hopped off her stool and did a little spin for me (a pattern I had established earlier). I looked her up and down, pretending to mull over how old she was. I took her by her hips and pulled her sharply into me. I whispered softly in her ear, I thinkyoure twenty-six. Then I released her.

This act of physical dominance had a profound effect on her. It was an unexpected move, and quite excessive for the topic of conversation. But it demonstrated an animal dominance that she found very arousing. Physical escalation does not necessarily have to have anything to do with what youre actually talking about. You can make escalation jumps, take charge, test her momentum and spike her emotions all with your physical communication, while verbally talking about every day topics.

For best effect you should have an authentic intent. Escalate and approach women that you are genuinely attracted to and all of your interactions will line up far more congruently.

Dont draw excessive attention to the escalation. This is a widely known point on escalation, and worth mentioning here.

Tests.

As you escalate, you will encounter congruence tests. The woman is attracted and she wants to test to make sure that youre as solid a man as you seem. Its like standing at the bottom of a mountain and giving your rope a tug before trusting your weight to it. She wants to know that youre not putting up a front because shes attracted its a positive sign!

In Conclusion

Blow me or blow me out.

Your mission as a learner, should you choose to accept it, is to go out and escalate a bunch of interactions to the point of blowout. Find that point. Really zone in on escalation until you begin to obtain those finer distinctions. Escalate, escalate, escalate and let experience redefine your ideas about escalation.

When you get to the point where you can accurately read a womans momentum you can tailor your game to suit. Approach the women youre attracted to. Some will be open and invest in your escalation so go rapid. If shes less so, play solid game and shoot for the phone number, and setting up a date.

That said, it really is fantastic fun!

Enjoy!

Keys

Forum: General

90 goal and action map

hchu — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:05:05 GMT

Hello. My 90-day goals are: Have a social circle of at least 4 connected friends. and Have 2 women I'm having sex with.

1. I made it out to Vail Opening Day and it was awesome! First time opening a ski resort, EVER!!!

i met 2 people that day. 1 was a blonde girl who worked for the mountain.- don't know which division. (like scanner, sales, or ops). I noticed myself trying to figure it out, so I knew what to say to her. I arrived early and saw her walking by several times. She was striking to me! The opportunity came at the end of a run and she was handing out hot chocolate. i just ended up near her and she offered a cup she just poured. Instant conversation. after Thanks, I said "hey, Do you go to that Starbucks in that Safeway store?" 'yeah, sometimes.' "Yeah, I might have seen you there." (which I thought I did). I introduced myself. Her name was Sarah. She said "It was Nice meeting you." (enthusiastically) and that was the end of the conversation.

I thought I was IN after recognizing her from the Starbucks. I felt good when she enthusiastically said it was nice meeting you!

2.The other person I met that day was Brandon- a dude. Hey, remember I'm trying to expand my social circle? anyways, he texted me later in the day and said it was nice to meet me and we should ride or hang out sometimes soon. He has a girlfriend who's pretty established here in town. Good job, house, friends. He's about the same age- early 30's so will be good to have common interests and goals.

It's so much easier to talk to the guys. There was a guy and girl in line and I noticed trying to impress or gain and advantage over the girl when talking to both.

Forum: IC Intensive Graduate Area

DAYGAME PRIMER

Keychain — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:43:21 GMT

If meeting women in the daytime is something youre interested in then this is for you.

Opening

I find the greatest consistency and satisfaction using direct openers such as:

Excuse me, I saw you from over thereand Id regret it all day if I didnt come met youbecause you look absolutely gorgeous(EXTEND HAND TO SHAKE) Hi, Im Keychain, whats your name?

Direct openers like this (recently popularized by Sebastian Drake, Soul, Dr.Yen etc) usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, its nice to say nice things to people itll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.

In some circles, it is said that direct openers require more balls than indirect openers. It is usually unclear to which balls they are referring, although it is unlikely to refer to the size/volume of the PUAs anatomy (I suspect it has something to do with courage and successful risk taking). Personally, I think this sort of talk is a load of balls however it is a good excuse to use the following picture:

Further proof that all women are terrorists.

The virtues of direct opening aside, theres nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and youll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:

- Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?

- Shes reading a book: What are you reading?

- Shes wearing head/earphones: What are you listening to? Im bored of my current playlist (credit Sasha) take her ipod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist (my addition).

- Shes in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldnt let a pane of glass stand between us and true love. (Credit Sasha)

If the girl is sat or stationary, you can just walk over to her and deliver your opener. If shes moving, Ill always approach from behind, even if it means letting her walk past to get my angle.

To stop a moving set, approach from behind and touch the inside of the elbow gently with two fingers. You can also touch the tricep area or the back of the forearm. Say excuse me to get her attention, stop walking as she turns towards you and then deliver your opener.

To further stop her forward momentum and start the transition to conversation, extend your hand to shake hers. Give your name and ask for hers. She will, as most people would, automatically shake your hand and give you her name. From here, youre ready to transition.

A Common Trap With Direct Openers

A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction. Rita Mae Brown

Dont try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and look for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reactionthey deliver it and wait for the big WOW! Its approval-seeking and not attractive.

Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said yes. So youre going to go meet her, express your core and see if shes the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.

Transition to Conversation

After opening, I like to stack and cycle through the following transition material until I find a topic that youre both interested in and can naturally talk about together (what Sebastian Drake calls a click topic). Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.

To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic.

1)What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If shes rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If shes just shopping, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)

2)What do you do for a living?

3)What do you do for fun?

As recommended by Wayne Elise, these can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what youre doing in central London and then ask her what shes up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when shes done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.

Its not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her her initial shyness, shell warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.

Another conversation technique I enjoy is to talk about a character trait I enjoy, explain why I enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. I came up with this by combining Mr.Ms ideas about high-value frame attraction and Sebastian Drakes click topics. This soft qualification is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also.

For example:

I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. Theres something about people who traveltheres an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgemental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?

I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?

If you cant find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, youll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.

Thoughts on Conversation

Id suggest focusing on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.

Its easy to view interactions with girls as a game in which you say certain things, touch your target in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?

Dont forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. Theres no need to be intense and serious all the time in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.

Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Dont be a clone, youll get much better results as a great version of you.

Taking Things Further

Where can you take the conversation after youre clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:

- suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.

- suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.

- my first daygame approach ended with a hand job in a nearby photo-booth. You could shoot for this if the mood strikes.

Conclusion

The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. Its a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women youll meet!

With this basic information youve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what youve read is start applying it in real conversations.

Good luck,

Keys

Forum: General

11th November

Cameron — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:40:19 GMT

So I went out on Wednesday Night for some fun. I was talking to Robbie about how I'm so outcome dependent (aka needy) and always concentrating on getting somewhere with girls
to the exclusion of everything else (or in Robbies phrase "a predator") and in my head 90% of the time.

So my goals for the night were to go out and have fun and be in my body.

I meet my friend in a bar called MacArthurs at 10pm, usually its really busy in there but its dead at this time. The bar staff, explain there is a karoake night on
next door.

So my friend comes in and I have a beer, hes not drinking. Hes called Ross, I met him through the Scottish pua community (uh oh).

I talk to him about where I am right now with my "game", he talks about his life, hes doing sports science, has been working out a lot and is doing an essay on
how athletes respond to enviromental conditions.

Theres a hot blonde girl sitting at a table with an unattractive women, I could approach but don't.

So me and Ross go to this other bar which is doing karoake, I tell Ross its a great opportunity to push our comfort zones and have fun. So, I'm talking to Ross.
I have a few more beers. I end up singing "Born to Run" by Bruce Springstein (again), I am amazed by how terrible my voice is, lol, but I put a lot into it and enjoy it.

I see a group of girls from work. I see my friend Grace, I walk up and talk to her, the conversation goes something like this

"Hey Grace!" *big smile
"Hey cammy"
"How are you?" *lots of enthusiasm
"Fine, you?
"Great, who are you in with?"

I can't remember after that. I realise this is really rude, to be 15 seconds in the conversation and asking who shes in with, iv already decided she isnt worth the time to
pay attention to....

My friend Ross notices me zoning out a couple of times and calls me out on it. He talks more about his life, I realise he is actually a really cool guy, and really interested in
self improvement, he meditates every day, works out a lot, doesn't drink, studies.....I make a mental note to call him more.

So, eventually we head into the club, some random thoughts......

- I am much more in my body and in the moment, I get much better reactions from the girls from work, they can sense the energy I'm giving off is different
- We do some silly dancing
- I talk to a few girls I've seen before, I get the eye from a blonde and I hold it, I could have approached and probably would have got a good reaction but I don't, note
to self, next time I get favourable eye contact then I may approach
- I realised that when I'm in bad mood (as in Wednesday night) then I shouldnt drink so much, I'm just doing it automatically or because I am bored rather
than doing it out of living life to the full
- My friend goes home about 1am, usually I would stay and hunt for girls but I just go home

I made progress

FUTURE POSSIBILITIES

- The possibility of paying a lot of attention to others and being genuinely interested in talking to them
- The possibility of being in the moment
- The possibility of drinking to enhance my enjoyment of life (and not automatically)
- The possibility of approaching girls who are checking me out
- The possibility of having more fun

Forum: General

meet 10 new people this week

hchu — Thur, 12 Nov 2009 03:25:01 GMT

ok, so i'm supposed to post updates on my 3-month progress. Goal: Meet 10 new people this week.

1. girl looking at avocados. "Excuse me,...how do the avocados look today?" "GOOD!!!" (with a slight smile) I wasn't really interested in her. Only wanted to meet new people. We talk about avocados and then I walk away. She was Hispanic. Good warmup.

2. Girl walking her dog. "Hey, cute dogs!" She stops and I let the dogs sniff my hand. "Hey, I was thinking of living in this area? Is it a good area to live in?" "YEAH!, I love it here. ....it's close to town, blah, blah, blah." I ask more questions and we're in conversation. (awesome!) I feel attracted to her. She was petite brunette, hint of Native American, slightly exotic. I introduce myself. "What's your name?" Cassandra she says. We shake hands and she has a firm grip. She says "Welcome to Vail!" as we part. I hoped to run into her again.- leaving it up to chance....

3. Girl in the grocery store. "Excuse me, I was thinking of moving here and was wondering....is $766 a good price for rent?" She asks some questions and offers her opinion. "YEAH, that's a great price." We get into rent, heating, etc. She's doing most of the talking. I was in my head trying to "feel" her. strategizing on my next response. At one point, I was in my head an noticed her piercing and was liking them.- strategizing what to comment about them vs. listening to her. ...anyways, it didn't end all that bad. We introduced ourselves. She even mentioned she works at the Mexican place in town. I said my thanks and left. Overall, wasn't a bad interaction. I was surprised at how open she was to help out.

That was it for day 1. Day 2,- no approaches, but some conversations with everyday service people. McDonald's, grocery clerks, Walmart guy. Mostly asking recommendations as I'm new in town. - which is a great way to start conversations. "Hey, I'm new in town, do you have a blank here?"

Forum: IC Intensive Graduate Area

Harry

hchu — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:07:47 GMT

hey guys! first time on a forum of any sorts. I've met some of you in group. Robbie started the 3-month phone coaching with me today. I'm in Vail this winter, so won't be back for a while. Here's what I want: I want to have fun with women. Meet a girl and make out with her. I also want to compete in an amateur snowboard cross competition and WIN! Finally, I want to have an awesome social circle- people to snowboard with and hang out with. It's going to be a fun time!

Forum: About Us

Places to hit up in Los Angeles?

John — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:45:10 GMT

Whats up guys!

My girl and I are taking a trip out to LA for a few days. We arrive on the 16th and leave have an evening flight on Sat the 21st.

Last time I was out in LA, for the Inner Confidence workshop, we hit up a pretty swanky lounge ... it looked like a house or something with the outside area covered over? I was hoping to go back there if anyone knows what the hell I'm talking about.

And I'm open to other suggestions if you know of any good lounges.

Thanks

Forum: General

sexual tension...

Kevin9679 — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:47:35 GMT

Here's a story about me and this girl who I didn't do anything physical yet, but feel connected to and feel that getting with her is inevitable as long as I don't give up and don't come from a place of neediness. So, Kevin, you ask, why would you write a whole story in which nothing happens? I don't know. This reminds me of my friend who said excitedly, "You know what I did to her?" Me and another guy were like, "What?" He said, "I passed her a note, and drew a picture of Mickey Mouse on it... and he was saying 'Thinking of you.' And she was like, 'Aw, how sweet! I love Mickey Mouse!" Whoah, slow down, man. You don't bring Mickey Mouse in until the 3rd date. And this is actually a fairly attractive (to women) guy, and I've seen cute girls just rush to give him their numbers, even though he has no idea what's going on. Anyway...

So at the beginning of the school year, there was a teaching assistant (she's a senior maybe?) in my general engineering class. For some reason, right when I saw her I wanted to approach her. "You're a TA?" "Yeah." *seductive smile? not sure* "My name's Kevin." And really I didn't think about pursuing anything after that. Though during that class I caught her checking me out several times, I really didn't have anyone who I actually wanted something from.

Just that during the labs, when she comes by to see what was going on, I can't help but admire the vibe that was coming from her. It was especially soothing for me because I had to wake up at 6 in the morning to get there, and I felt relaxed when she came around. The vibe was just different from the one other girls sent, which my dick would respond to before any part of my body.

Yesterday night I was taking the train home after judo practice, and she was there with a guy friend. I could tell in 5 seconds that the guy was neither grounded nor emotionally open, but I couldn't tell if they were dating. I didn't think about it, and just stayed in the moment while the two were chatting with each other. The guy got out at 14th St and they did not kiss or hug, nor did they hold any prolonged eye-contact. So I figured that they weren't dating.

During that ride I wanted to talk to her, but I knew that I had time, and I didn't want to come from a place of neediness. Then her stop came, and I said, "See you tomorrow." She waved but didn't get up. I was genuinely curious. "Didn't you say 42nd st was your stop?" "I..." "You lied?!! (in a tongue-and-cheek way)
"No! No! I decided that I'm getting off later, to catch the 7, because I need to finish my lab report." That was when I felt comfortable with rapporting, and her body-language seemed receptive but she said she needed to submit the lab report that night, so I didn't bother her for the rest of the ride, though I didn't hide the fact that I would check her out (not in a creepy way I hope) once in a while, and I'm pretty sure she saw me but she was hiding the fact that she knew.

So her stop was actually the same stop as mine (but we transfer to different trains.) I got up, and went in front of her seat, saying, "I'll see you tomorrow." She stood up, and I didn't even notice (I guess I'm just slow with these things) that her face was a few inches from mine. She pulled back and said quickly, "Don't..." I didn't even know what she was talking about. She turned away, then nervously asked, "You finished your lab report yet?" "Yeah. You?" I stroked her chest in a non-sexual way. "Almost." Doors open. I said, "I'll see you tomorrow." "Okay. Come on time... (Pause, and I was walking backwards to my train while she was speaking) Cuz you come late sometimes."

So the next day, despite trying not to come late (it's not for her, it's for myself) I come late anyway. She said, "You're late!" Right when she saw me. "I told you not to come late." Then I kinda did a deep rapport thing, saying, "I tried not to come late. I'm always late. I'm trying to fix this." Then I can't really describe the look on her face there, but she was looking down. I wasn't analyzing this much when I was there btw. So since my partner was also late, I was literally walking around in circles, asking where the TA who was supposed to take the penalty off my project was, stuff like that. And me and the girl chatted a few times, each time I wanted to just say, "I really like you." But the first time around the tension was already too much for me to bear, and it just got worse.

And the last time we talked, I didn't even know what she was saying, and I'm not even sure she knew what she was saying, but I could feel that gripping in my gut, and she noticed the way I looked at her, and she started straightening up and fixing her hair. All the while I was paying attention to her stroking own hair, and I didn't even realize that we weren't even talking anymore. All I know is that she liked every second of it.

And then my partner came out of nowhere (was he standing there the whole time??) So I turned to him, and said, "There you are."

End of story.

Anti-climactic.

Forum: General

Halloween

Cameron — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:58:29 GMT

OK, so I went out last night for Halloween.

My night started off with me getting a train and meeting my friend from work Mayo, I am pleased to run into him. He is a great guy. We talk about Halloween, he is dressing as an angel.

Then I see these two girls from work, they are dressing as dominatrixes, they look super sexy and are getting a lot of attention on the train, lol.

So, we shoot the shit for the train journey.

Oh, this drunk guy comes up and speaks to us, he is hitting on the girls (badly), he wants them to get off at his stop, he asks and they say no, then he starts pleading.....
reminds me of myself in my worst ever moments.

Anyway, the train arrives, the dominatrixes go their way, Mayo goes his way and I go mine.

So I arrive at the party, its Kirsty, my old friends from school (dressed as a cabaret woman), her flatmate Philippa (dressed as superwoman), and Philippas Sister (cat), brother in law (dressed as a ditch guy)
and other sister (cavewoman).

So I introduce myself and I sit down and have a beer. I am one of the first ones to arrive. WE small talk for a while.

This tv programme comes on (the X-factor) we play a drinking game revolving around the show. I have to drink whenever the words "Simon" "singing" or "vocals" appear.
Its pretty fun.

More people gradually turn up and I get drunker, moments than stand out

- Im talking to this blonde girl, she tells me I am very attractive, lol, I was suprised to hear that, I tell her she is very attractive too, and she is, but I'm not into her,
I probably should have esclated after this moment but I didn't, I can't remember what happened (was very drunk) but she walked away soonafter

- I'm talking to this blonde girl, she is incredibly cute, she is super interested in me, she wants to know why I know her name, in fact I know hername because her flatmate told me, I tell her that
and she loses interest really quikcly thereafter, its amazing to see how quickly she loses interest

- this women brings a baby along to the party (this is early then the other two incidents) and I play with it a lot, the baby is super cute, I really love young children

- Im flirting with this young girl dressed as a ned, she pinches my ass and tells me its flabby, lol, I end up getting needy and qualifying myself to her, explaining how flabby
my ass is and all that stuff

_ Oh and I am not the life of the party for several moments, maybe I need some routines or something because I am not being interesting, I have a lot of energy and am fun
but people aren't fascinated by me (which makes sense because I amn't living an extraordinary life right now), if I started living an interesting life, I would be more
interesting (without the need for routines and all that nonsense)

I have a question for Robbie about all this stuff.

Forum: General

Every Little Bit Counts

CDub — Thur, 29 Oct 2009 18:58:42 GMT

Great article I read today. Every little bit counts.

LETS GET REAL
by Jeff Olson

"Okay, doubling a penny in a story is all very well. But I don't see anyone offering to double my money every day for a month, not in real life. Besides, even if I could get compound interest on a money account, how am I supposed to add up compound interest in health, or relationships, or knowledge?"

Fair enough. Let's change the question. Forget about doubling for a minute, and let's forget about compound interest, too, for the moment. Let's just add a penny every day, not double the penny. Do you think you could improve yourself-your health, your knowledge, your skills, your diet, your relationships, whatever area of life you want to look at - just one percent?

Wait - before you answer that, let's make it even smaller. What if you were able to improve yourself, today, just three-tenths of one percent? That's a 0.003 improvement - a very Slight Edge indeed. So slight, in fact, you might have a hard time even knowing how to measure it.

Now, what if you did that again tomorrow, and the next day, and kept it up every day for the next year? Remember, you're not going to add up compound interest this time, you're just adding on another three-tenths of one percent each day.

Here's what will happen. The first day you'll improve by 0.003, so little it will probably be impossible to notice. The second day, your improvement will be 0.006; the next day, 0.009, almost a full one percent. And by the end of the year, you will have improved by one hundred percent.

Doubled.

You will be twice what you are today - twice as fit, twice as wealthy, twice as skilled, twice as happytwice as whatever it is you've been working on, in whatever areas you apply your daily three-tenths-percent effort. Twice the you, in just one year!

If you give yourself a year to do it, you can become twice the person you are today. Imagine having twice the net worth, twice the personal relationships, twice the health. Making twice the positive impact on the world. Having twice as much fun and enjoying twice the quality of life.

How could you possibly accomplish this? By trying twice as hard? Working twice as many hours? Have twice as positive an attitude? No - by improving three-tenths of one percent at a time.

Every day, in every moment, you get to exercise choices that will determine whether or not you will become a great person, living a great life. Greatness is not something predetermined, predestined or carved into your fate by forces beyond your control. Greatness is always in the moment of the decision.

But you have to start with a penny. And that's the great and tragic irony of it, the sad and terrible tale of the ninety-five percent: that little penny seems so insignificant, so small, so sillywhy even bother to bend over and pick it up? After all

Can you imagine walking into your bank to deposit a single penny into a savings account? Can you imagine looking in your savings account, deposit box or piggy bank, and finding a balance of $0.01? It might as well be a balance of zero, right? How much difference is there, right? I mean, we're talking about one penny! What could you buy with a penny?

You just might be able to buy financial freedom for the rest of your life.

-- Jeff Olson

Forum: General

24th Octtober

Cameron — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 12:28:06 GMT

Ok, So I went out last night and had some fun.

I went out with two girls from work, Emma and Kimberley.

I started off by going to this pub called MacArthurs. It was really busy and stuff.

I saw this cute girl and went over to talk to her, she had short hair and a pierced tongue, usually I don't dig girls with short hair but she looked great. Anyway, I started walking up to her and she gave me this look, actually it was more like a grimace.

I called it out and made fun of her for rejecting me before I had said anything, she started laughing. I then said she was totally wrong and that I was actually gay, lol. Then I said I would forgive her for being mean because she was cute. It became apparent she had a boyfriend, I was happy to talk to her anyways but her friend came over and dragged her away (she said she was her sister in law). I took this is a good sign.

So I see my friend from rugby and he offers to buy me a beer, I say yes, win for me ^^. My friend also buys me a beer so now I have two, good times.

I see the barmaid that I know, I go up and talk to her, she's wearing a dress so I think shes off work, shes not though......

I tell this little blonde girl that I have to tell her she's sexy, she says something about having to talk to her friends and walks away.

I see my friend Ross from Paisley, he's into the game so we talk about that, as well as some uni stuff (like my procrastination when it comes to doing this essay)

I see this girl who is gorgeous, dark hair and brown eyes, just my type, I tell her she looks sexy, she is digging it. There is tension, talk for maybe 20 seconds, then I ask
her if she thinks about sex a lot, I can't remember what she says but she blows me out, she isn't digging it at all. I excuse myself before she excuses me.

I see this hot blonde girl and I talk to her, she tells me her name is Kelly, I can't remember our conversation, she excuses herself and leaves.

We see my gay friend outside, he is dressed really well, I tell him he looks great. He is pleased.

In the queue to the club I chat with some girls, they have their coats pulled up on account of the rain, they look funny so we joke about that.

Ohh i forget to mention that I get rejected by two hot blondes girls in MacArthurs.

So I'm in da club, I see my friend Douggie from school, I always liked him. We shoot the shit for a while, he mentions he liked a girl in the club so I say Ill be his
wingman, he says after a few more drinks, I am unimpressed with his avoidance of failure attitude, so I pull her into the group and start talking with her friend, who I find
unattractive. I am trying to flirt with her a little bit but I don't want to kiss her or anything..... I keep the conversation going for a while then leave.

I see my friend Louise from school, I always liked her, we talk about stuff, she has a serious relationship now, I talk to her about the Landmark forum, she is in with her sis
and another friend, her other friend is really cute but seems totally uninterested in me so I dont try and chat her up.

I approach this dark haired girl and hit on her, she seems interested but says she has a boyfriend, so I leave.

Ohhh i got blown out really badly by this blonde girl, I tell her she looks delicious, she is not impressed. I joke that ill put that line on the back burner, she says put
it in the bin, lol.

I see my friends sister, she looks great, she is with her friend, her friend seems interested in me but shes not my type at all. Her friend doesn;t know how I know Helen and
tells me that Helen is going to "bite the bullet" aka have sex with this guy shes not interested in, so the other girl can go with this guy she fancies "johnno", its not
what I want to hear, since i have known this girl from childhood, lol.

So I see Kelly again, and talk to her, she doesnt seem interested, i call it out, she says I seem like a nice guy, shes says she usually goes for guys that treat her badly
, I say thats fucking stupid, she should go for nice guys, she agrees and gives me her number, lol.

I hit on one more girl, she is small and has a great smile, she bumps into me while dancing, I say something to her, we joke, then I say something sexual, she doesnt dig it.
I leave.

I am now tired of hitting on girls and just want to talk to someone I know like a normal person, I dont see anyone so I leave.

lessons learnt-

- Calling out disinterest can lead to interest
- I think that if you are going to say "Do you think about sex a lot?" you have to say it straight away or almost straight away, if you wait 15 or 20 seconds and say it its weird,
Or maybe the line itself sucks, maybe its crude and I would be better going with "Wow, you are really gorgeous, I would love to take you home with me" which is still bold
but much classier

Forum: General

21st October

Cameron — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:28:56 GMT

OK, so yesterday I went out.

I went to Univerisity during the day and noticed this gorgeous blonde girl in my property class so naturally I spoke to her. I invited her for a drink after class and shes said yes even though she said she hated the union, which was a good sign.

So we had a couple of games of pool (I won 4-1 ^^), we got to know each other a little bit, exchanged numbers, I gave her a hug and then we left. I touched her a little bit but it felt akward so I'm not sure if she sees me as a potential lover or as a friend.

I have text her a little bit since then and she seems keen.

After the class I went bowling with my friends and got drunk. I was flirting with the girl that works there and she gave me her bebo, lol, she said she had a boyfriend.

So after many drinks (my bowling absolutely sucked) we went to this other bar and got even more drunk......

I tried to persuade my friends to come out clubbing but they weren't interested so I went by myself.

I was drunk enough to be paranoid about not getting in, I noticed two blonde girls hanging around outside, I spoke to them and they were very friendly, one of them took my hand and led me inside so I got in for free!

So I was in a nightclub by myself, but its ok because there are only 3 nightclubs in Ayr with a population of 45,000 (just googled it lol) so I was bound to run into someone I know.....

I talked to some people, the best/worst thing that happened was talkig to this hot teacher girl. I could tell she was into me but managed to screw up by not escalating AGAIN (mentally beats himself up).................

OK so thers no point in mentally beating myself up.

Ok so I have this sticking point of being sexual, I challenge myself to as girls if they think about sex a lot. I will say this to girls this weekend!

Forum: General

17th October

Cameron — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:24:14 GMT

So, I went out on Saturday night with the goal of being very tight and sexual.

I approached four girls and told them they were sexy, three blew me off straight away (1 had a boyfriend)

With the other one I managed to create a lot of sexual tension and she was attracted. Sadly her friend dragged her away, I think she saw we were hitting it off and didn't want to be left alone.

I found out that being sexual is fine and getting rejected isn't so bad.

ps The girl who I thought was going to meet me to give me some advice with the laydies I don't think is going to meet me (she hasn't texted back).

Forum: General

I want this girl

Kevin9679 — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:20:11 GMT

So I was running late going to the Civil Engineering lounge in Poly to study with my friends. But I needed to use the bathroom, so I went into this shady Japanese restaurant.

The guy said I could use the bathroom, so I opened the door and someone was inside. lol I closed the door again, but I wasn't embarrassed. I thought it was a guy or something (I didn't fully open the door).

So the person in the bathroom came out, and she was the most gorgeous Asian girl I have ever seen. We made eye contact and held it, even turning our heads as we passed each other. I went into the bathroom (it was unisex) and her scent just consumed me. As I was pissing I said, "Fuck, she was hot."

As I was leaving the restuarant I just felt her radiance take me in. I think she's a waitress there or something. She took a quick glance at me and then looked down smiling. I was in a rush to my campus (even though my friends left anyway, because I was 45 minutes late).

Forum: General

14th October

Cameron — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:55:35 GMT

OK, so I went out on Wednesday night.

I couldn't find anyone to meet up with before town so I ordered myself a taxi at 11pm and sat by myself from 9pm drinking beer and playing Counter Strike......lol.

So I got into a bar at 11pm, sat down and ordered myself a beer.

I tried chatting up the barmaid (who was gorgeous) but she wasn't interested....

I then saw my friend and his girl and I sat and drank with them for a while.

Then we went into the club.

I don't want to write too much because it was like all the other nights. I made the same mistakes as before. I was nice, and boring, I didn't create tension....I tried sincere compliments from a place of wanting something which didn't work.

OK, so I'm now crystal clear that I need to do something different to produce different results.

I will write down some phrases that I am committed to saying to girls on my next night out.

1 "Wow, you are really sexy"
2 "I would love to take you home with me"
3 "Do you think about sex a lot?"

On the plus side. I met this really cool hot fun older women who I told all my girl woes too. She said she would give me coaching and get me a girlfriend, lol. I text her and we are going to meet up to turn me into a super pimp. :-)

Forum: General